I Never Saw You Coming

Have you ever thought that if one thing had not happened, a whole set of things never would have either?

When we first started talking, I honestly did not want to get involved with anyone.
But you were so easy to talk to.
Sometimes you just laugh at the stupidest things.
Or just sit there and staring.

You knock on my door, gradually.
You barely said a word. You just did things.
And once I got used to your action, you finally started speaking.

And before I know it, little by little
I found myself falling for you.
Falling with the personality, their behavior, the thoughts and opinions.
Falling with the way you treat me.

There is a time when I want to run.
My natural instinct is to run every time I fall in love.
Every time I feel that I'm getting attach with a person, my instinct told me to run.
Run, fast, and not coming back.

I do not know how, but with you it always failed.
It breaks my concentration when I am busy and drifts my mind away to thoughts of you when I am in the middle of conversation.
Believe me, i've tried so many times to run. But I keep coming back to you.
You have this certain ways to make me calm and not run.
You always have a way to convince me.
Like a desperate needy child, it pokes and prods tirelessly for my attention. And in the end, it always gets it.

I can't blame you, you were smart, you knew, I let my guard down.
You release fires inside of me. Fires I thought I had control on.
I should have known the waves keep coming and I'd eventually drown
I should have known better.

You appeared and damn, did everything change.

Well I guess I never saw it coming, yet here you are in from of me
Guess I never had a chance.

Falling in Love With You Was Never My Intention

I'm not fall for you all at once.
No I'm not
I fall for you gradually,
Falling for the little things.
Like the way you laugh mid kiss sometimes, and look at me like you can't believe what is happening. Or simply the way you look at me when we laugh, laughing with you is my favorite.
Like the way you talk about how your day was, the jokes, the anxieties, works, and so much more.
Or simply the way you smile at me when you're done talking about it. Soft and warm.
Or the way you tease me and tickling me when you drive me home.

I'm falling for "the look"
"the look" that feels like anything is possible.
I'm falling with the way you touch me without using your hands.
I'm falling with the thoughtful of you when I left my water bottle in your car.
I'm falling with your calmness, when i'm not. When i'm a mess, you keep calm and not even tell me to calm. You just be there and trying to comfort me. What you don't know is your presence itself is comforting enough.
I'm falling with the way you talk about something I didn't know that you know or something new you just know.
I even falling with the way you pout your lips when you peeved.

I want to be that one who makes your bad days better.
I want to be that one who comes first on your mind when you have a good news to tell.
I want to be your favorite place to go when you've had a bad day or good day.
I want to be that one you will always look back on, and not be able to stop yourself from smiling.
I want to be that one you miss. more than anything, that one you love.

I wasn't looking for anything when i found you.
Falling in love with you was beyond my control

I'm so afraid to wanting you.
I never planned to fall in love with you
But here i am, wanting you, and falling in love with you anyway.

You Were Everything I Shouldn't Have Wanted But I Did.

You need me.
I don't know if you loved me, but you need me.

You needed an island, I was that island.
And that's not what I wanted.
Because all I really wanted was for you to want me.
not need me.
want me
and love me.
for who I was as a person, not for what I did for you and how I made you feel.
like your problems and your issues and your anxieties and your addictions and your past experiences were all okay.

You used me as a barrier between yourself and the things about yourself that you wanted to hide from.

But you ended up burying me too.

Clearly, I know why i stay,
It's because of how i feel for you.
But what i'm afraid of is, part of me believe that you stay because of how i make you feel about yourself.

I think i fall in love with the unexpected person at the most unexpected time.

You were everything I shouldn't have wanted but I did.